this regret machine

  hop and skip and don’t needto look at herto know. what she’s thinking.  orange all over and front facing, front. looking but two ofus and one of him. hungry or confused but either way he is thirstyso. we take a drink. hopping and skipping around the pool we. move quick onground. she bounces and i. hop not allowed to go this far. my mother never goes. anywhere so. neither do i. drink. bathe alittle. he can’t watch both of us. she can’t see me now, but she’s with me. my partner we. find ourselves naturally. in yellow season with orange and fox and cold. the wateris cold but feels. nice. on our feathers.  he makes a move at me. i wing out. too close. she jaws and lunges and peck at hischin. he didnot like that. too close he. bites back and she. moves. swift and quick i am watching her inthe water fly up the tree. the game is. over. she’s found. something. and asks to fly away.  he makes ago again and i. wing. he jaws and i scream. why did shego that far? i thi...

(cw for animal fighting, brief mention of blood) she lies and thinks and hopes to become a puddle of sleep. hopes absolve with panic. sharp, quick panic.      she has never been more awake. the curtains let in too much light -- not moonlight, not streetlight, but some sourceless bright pain. maybe the fireflies unionized, she thinks. her head goes blank. it is tired.      the ceiling has nothing to offer, but a twin-bladed fan. it spins without permission.      of course, the dogs start fighting. it begins as it always does, the younger leaps up and begins to test the older. their shadows slowly rise on the wall she faces. the younger pokes and bites. the older huffs and shifts in his bed. so, the younger barks.      now she sits up, a world across from them. she wasn’t sleeping anyway. why should anyone? the younger rodent slides up and down the wall, hopping on hind legs. the corners of the carpet are scuffed against the sk...